Alzheimer’s: When is the right time to place my parent in a home?

The sad truth about Alzheimer’s is that at one point, the disease starts to be too much, and that’s when it’s time to find our parent a residence for seniors with Alzheimer’s and other cognitive losses.

BACKGROUND

Often fragile, frightened, and sometimes unpredictable, seniors with Alzheimer’s disease require constant attention. Even if the disease has not completely overtaken a person’s life, they often forget to eat, take their pills and even daily activities like getting dressed become challenging. Because of their erratic memory, they need attention all the time, otherwise their safety could be at risk.

In many cases, busy and especially helpless relatives have no other choice but to consider placing their vulnerable parent in a residence. They need a home that will supervise and ensure their parent’s safety.

A DIFFICULT PROCESS FOR FAMILIES

Finding a home is certainly a difficult step for the person concerned, but also for their family. Placing our parent in a residence is rarely our first choice, but something we simply have to do.

In a way, this new stage means the end of a chapter where the caregiver is no longer as involved in looking after their loved one. This often leads to feeling guilty, especially if the family had promised that it would never place the parent in a home, for example, even if they can’t keep their promise forever.

From the outset, it’s important to know and plan for the fact that the process will eventually lead to the person being placed in a residence for people with Alzheimer’s. Ideally, you would discuss the situation with the person concerned and family members as soon as the first signs of the disease appear, even if it’s not always easy to see them as signs of the disease. Explore all the options available to you, whether it’s home care or residences. You could also consider asking for the advice of a residence advisor so you’re extra well prepared.

If you wait too long, the person concerned won’t have enough time to decide where he or she wants to live. The truth is that the longer you wait, the less likely the parent will be able to make a decision on his or her own. When this happens, family members have to make all the decisions for them, and this is not an easy thing to do. That’s why caregivers are encouraged to seek advice from organizations like the Alzheimer Society, the CLSC and organizations that provide support services, like Résidences Québec.

PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, WHAT’S BETTER?

Once you have decided to place a parent in a home, the next step is to find a place that will accommodate them, whether that is in a public or private residence. First of all, if you haven’t already done so, you should meet with a doctor or social worker at the CLSC to assess the patient’s overall state of health. In doing so, you will be able to determine the level of care needed before getting the support you need, specifically from an organization specialized in assisting with these matters.

So, what’s better, public or private? You need to make appointments, visit residences and ask questions as they come to mind, or things you’ve thought of asking before visiting.

While the public network is better suited to people with more advanced illnesses, private residences are excellent, if not superior, for mild to moderate cases. Ask yourself the following question when it comes time to choose: “Do I feel comfortable here and more importantly, will my parent feel at home here?” This is a crucial question to ask.

Lastly, if the transition is really difficult, know that in many cases, it is the best choice for the patient. Their new residence will enable them to live in a safe place where he or she will be able to interact with other people and participate in activities. Yes, this is a very trying stage, but one that can be seen as reassuring given the situation.

For more information about our support services, contact us.