An only child living abroad: a senior feels alone and isolated

Shared story by Caroline Thibault Residence Advisor Laurentians.

Caroline was particularly touched by the story of Héroux, 83 years old, former head nurse.

In December 2018, Caroline received an application for assistance from Héroux’s only daughter who lives abroad. Because of the distance between them, the daughter is worried and feels helpless about her mother’s situation. Ms. Héroux no longer takes care of herself, no longer leaves the house, doesn’t cook and consumes alcohol on a regular basis. Ms. Héroux’s daughter can’t travel back in time to search for a residence or to help with the move. Caroline agrees to work with her remotely, alongside a social worker, in order to stay well-informed on any important information.

 

The home meeting

It was urgent that Ms. Héroux find a new, safe living environment, and Caroline noticed this during her home visit. Sitting on the side of her bed, with a glass of red wine on the bedside table, Ms. Héroux was clearly in a vulnerable state. The food in her fridge had expired, she had nothing suitable to eat. Caroline, suspecting that this might be the case, brought her a muffin and a coffee. With Ms. Héroux’s consent, Caroline began searching for a residence.

Searching for a suitable residence

Because it was difficult for Caroline to select a residence without a relative present, she found a solution that could both rectify the situation until the senior’s daughter arrived, while still giving them the option of choosing a residence freely. She opted for a residence that offered short-term stays and permanent accommodations. Caroline contacted the rental consultant for the residence as soon as she could. He informed her that if the assessment went well, Ms. Héroux could be admitted that same day.

The day of the assessment

On the morning of December 21^st, Caroline went to Mrs. Héroux ‘s home to bring her to the residence. Caroline realized that Ms. Héroux didn’t have any clean clothes to pack. She stopped at the pharmacy to purchase a nightgown and underwear so that she could sleep in clean clothes, if she were admitted.

Alcohol consumption: a barrier to being admitted

At the assessment, the director of care at the residence was reluctant to admit her given that she consumed alcohol regularly. Caroline is honest but is adamant that they should give her a chance. The director agrees to accept Ms. Héroux for a short-term stay. Caroline asks that they add an extra bath to her services so that Ms. Héroux can sleep comfortably in her clean nightgown from the outset.

Ms. Héroux’s daughter arrives

Shortly after Ms. Héroux was admitted, her daughter arrived from abroad. She could see that her mother felt comfortable in her new environment and that she would like to stay there long-term. Pleased with the choice of residence, Ms. Héroux’s daughter moved her mother there permanently and signed the lease. She was very grateful to Caroline because she knew that her mother was safe and well looked-after.

A happy ending

At the follow-up meeting, Caroline learned that Ms. Héroux had been abstaining from consuming alcohol for 10 days and was overall doing well. She was no longer alone or isolated. Caroline’s involvement and the supervision given by the staff at the residence helped to turn Ms. Héroux’s situation around completely.

This story that Caroline chose to share with us shows that an advisor’s work is much more than simply looking for residences. Being an advisor is about caring for others and showing empathy. There is so much more to being an advisor than just doing a job!